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33. 33%Thirty-three per cent, says the phone's battery.
It's minus twenty outside and I'd forgotten to
close all the apps I'd used again. The charger is
at home, under my pillow, and this lecture lasts
for another two hours. Can't stand the idea of
being cut out from social media like that. No, no.
Thirty-three per cent, I know my concentration and
motivation to be. It used to be more, but I've lost my
guiding torch, can't see the point in finishing my degree.
Sitting in the bus, it's like I'm watching a film about my life,
portrayed in the passing landscape: nothing too outstanding,
easily overlooked. Wish there was more to it, more action movie
madness, but well, as it has happened to be for months for ages now,
my energies are at thirty-three per cent, something drains them out of me,
I've closed my eyes tightly from so many other things, too: my eyelids are so
heavy anyway. I stay up the short nights and try to sleep through these
long, long days - that
Sotilaan muistoruno toiselleValo leikkii hiuksillasi,
kirpeä helmikuun auringonnousu
loistaa unisista silmistäsi.
Olen jo vuosia ollut niiden iloinen vanki.
Kosketan pehmeää poskeasi,
kuin maalari kuljettaisi sivellintä kankaalla.
Hymyilemme. Katselemme, liikkumatta, puhumatta.
En uskalla hengittää, koska muuten--
"Tik-tok", he muistuttavat viedessään
sinua pois kotimaasi lippuun käärittynä.
Heidän kylmyytensä turruttaa minua entisestään.
Etsin sinua tuopin pohjalta, taistelun huumasta,
toivoen että olisin silloin voinut pysäyttää ajan,
ikuistaakseni tuon erämaan kauneutesi jotenkin.
A soldier's epitaph to another
The light plays upon your hair,
a crisp February sunrise
shining in your somnolent eyes.
For years now I have been their happy prisoner.
I touch your soft cheek,
like a painter would run a brush across a canvas.
We smile. We look, without moving, without talking.
I do not dare t
I'm still not saved, waitingCrash and burn,
that's how I fall:
high and fast.
I wait and wait
for you to save me;
can't hear you,
but! a voice in the dark
reassures me of self-salvation.
The Disillusionment That Is MePulling me down to a place where I don't feel at home,
Leaving me alone in the dark to watch the pieces fall;
Emigrating from the rest of you to protect what's left,
Analyzing each of you like you were my test subjects,
Searching for something that could save me from this
Enemy that doesn't want to see me from the mirror -
Dull replies to everyday questions, the Inquisition moves
Onward, satisfied the answers were just as before -
Napalm on my skin to ignite the cleansing fire, I'm being
Overrun by a sense of restlessness, a feeling no longer
Tenable - where does this come from, I can't tell;
Propensity to shut the doors and windows to keep out
Uniramians, fleeting moments of someone coming up and
Telling me they are the same as me and know how it feels:
Melancholic sensibility, melodramatic some would say -
Expedient attention seeking they call it, "Shrug it off";
Utopistic views of me, of myself, of us all in search for
Perfection that cannot be, a mirage of an abundant
Oasis, with p
Kohta saa ilmottautua Biggest LoseriinA/N: Link to English translation in the description
Reenatusta kropasta haaveilen,
kaupasta limpparia raahailen
- todellisuudesta otetta saa en,
musiikkia pitkät yöt ja päivät kuuntelen.
Ennen heräsin viideltä reenaan,
ennen iltakymppiä jo koisimaan
- nyt, nyt ei rytmiä sitten olleskaan,
mietin oonko elossa lainkaan.
Ruoka ei maita,
mites läksyjen laita?
en taida olla ihan okei.
Tunnustelen kun kehoni muuttuu,
sairaudet ja vammat täst ny vielä puuttuu
- väsyttää hela tiden, mieli ja kroppa helposti uupuu,
joku kysyy miten voin, ei aukene suu.
Ajatustasolla piisaa muutoksia,
kauhistelen kerääntyviä haamukiloja
- silti en liikuta mitään lihaksia,
kulkeehan tarpeeks noita busseja.
(Ja jos ei niin sitten jään kotiin.)
Millään mitään väli&
All Here For A ReasonI turned onto a shady, well-manicured driveway that, for all intents and purposes, looked harmless enough. Maple trees lined both sides of the street, and a parade of Canadian geese marched across the road to a wide duck pond with a flamboyant fountain. There were blooming crepe myrtles and rose-of-sharons, and as I grew closer to my destination, neatly trimmed gardens with neatly trimmed bushes.
I stopped to let the geese pass. They looked at me; one hissed. I honked my horn and moved around them.
At the end of the road sat a collection of grayish buildings and a number of signs directing me to the appropriate parking lot. "Welcome to Ten Creeks Hospital," said one of them. "Please enjoy your stay." I parked in the visitor's lot. Surely I wouldn't be staying.
I was shaking when I got out of my car. I had spent the morning getting high. One foot in front of the other, flip-flop noises, hot sidewalk. Mulberry and magnolia trees, freshly shaved grass. A bench and pan for smokers. A set o
[transmissions of a dead girl]i am the
moon: i am
the silver pill
to weigh down
into leaden eyes--
i am the
of the dark.
the stars are
all dead in their
you'll be safe, dear,
as i am the moon,
with all of your
(i am good bye and yet,
you think only of romantic
i am the moon.
i am the crescent
and dead altogether,
i still die.
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